Trading Places: Surviving the weekend and battling "The Mondays"

Trading Places: April 27th, 2009

No, my workout Friday didn’t kill me; I just decided to hold off on my blogs because frankly, my weekends are not exciting enough to take the time to write about daily.  I figured that I could just add them in on Monday.  I have heard positive feedback from many about my blogs.  I hope they can continue to motivate, or at least entertain each reader. 

Saturday:  This is what my legs had to say

“Dear Matt, you are evil.  We went through a simple training session with basic movement.  You manipulated us into thinking that we were conditioned and this workout was going to be easy.  You are no longer a friend of ours.  In fact, Kim is no longer our friend either.  If you were on Survivor, we would vote you off! The Tribe has spoken!

Sincerely, Kimberly’s leg trio (Quads, Hamstrings, and Glutes)”


It was a rough night of sleep Friday night.  I think I started getting “The Aches” around 4:30am.  I finally surrendered around 9am and got my butt up and moving for the day.  I walked (if you want to call it that) to Emerge and attempted (and I mean ATTEMPTED) to do my cardio.  I’m going to use a farm reference here to explain what I was going thru.  On our farm, we have quite a bit of land for our cattle to graze on.  Our cows are very tame, you could even call them pets (yes, we name them).  However, there are times where our cattle like to “stray” away through a hole in the fence.  Rounding them up can be the biggest pain in the butt, especially our older cattle, and our bull, Chester.  Have you ever tried to move a 1600lb bull? You can yell and push and curse all day long, but the stubborn thing will only move on his time.  THAT is how my legs felt Saturday.  I tried to get going on the elliptical and my quads just wouldn’t go!  I couldn’t even get my heart rate to climb because I couldn’t go fast enough to make my heart go faster!  I felt like yelling and pushing my darn legs along, however Adam and Matt were training and the last thing I wanted was to have them, along with their clients look at me like I had lost my mind.  30 LONG minutes later, I waddled myself back to my apartment.  As beautiful of a day it was outside, it didn’t look nearly as attractive as my couch did.  Note to self:  Sedentary causes tightness in muscles.  I had been drinking so much water, that I temporarily forgot about my legs, so as I tried to “spring” up to head to the bathroom, my legs reminded me that they were boycotting me, so I fell right back down.  The entire afternoon/evening was about like this.  I was at a complete loss at what to do by the afternoon.  I had told myself that since I was dieting and working out I may as well cut out my other weakness… Shopping.  I ‘m not the typical girl, I don’t shop for clothes and I hate malls.  My weakness is TARGET… Target and any sporting goods store can occupy me for hours!  So I realized that if you take away food and shopping, I got nothing to do!  I was BORED.  My apartment was already spotless.  The Cardinals/Cubs game had just ended… WHAT DO I DO?  This would NORMALLY be the time I would make a quick trip to Target, or I’d take a long drive to Trader Joes then pick up Chipolte and head home.  BUT NOT NOW… WHAT TO DO?  So I got in my car and just drove.  I ended up nearly all over the western part of St. Charles County.  I got as far as Lake St. Louis on highway 40 before I started to head back home.  I realized on my long drive that I use shopping and food as a blanket for my boredom!  My best friend lives in Omaha, so I rarely see him, and some of my close friends are doing that whole married with kid’s thing, so I find myself bored a lot.  SO> When I was bored, I would shop or eat!  So now that I recognize the problem, I have to find out how to resolve it.  I finished my dinner and I headed to bed early on a Saturday night.  I was okay with this.  I was tired and starting to get cranky.  There’s nothing like having a continuously full bladder and having achy legs that make you wanna cry every time you try to sit on the toilet.  (Can I get a “holla” from the women; you know what I’m talkin about!)

Sunday:  WHO NEEDS SLEEP, REALLY?  I woke up with the BIGGEST cramp in the butt that I’ve ever had.  Did I forget to tell Pirtle that my legs get sore VERY easily?  I got up, had my breakfast and waddled to Emerge (forget walking, I didn’t care what I looked like at this point as long as I got my butt there).  My legs were a little more cooperative today, however, the heart rate still didn’t want to get up to par.  One plus is that working out in an empty facility; I was able to watch whatever I wanted on TV.  I figured that if I watched a movie, it would make the time fly by faster.  I found “The Shining” playing on some channel, and I figured this would be great; it would keep me from thinking about the time.  The bad part about working out in an empty facility is that when you watch a suspenseful movie, every little noise can make ya jump.  After thirty minutes and a few “spooky” occurrences, I briskly waddled my butt home.  I got word not too long after that a client had an extra ticket to the Cardinals/Cubs game.  I thought “perfect, no food, no shopping, just baseball!”  So I headed down to the stadium to meet up.  The ticket was in a party room, unlimited food and beverages.  This was my first test on my diet.  I didn’t get a chance to grab lunch at home, which is normally a soy protein smoothie, so I tried to make the best decision possible.  When we got there, the game was just beginning.  I grabbed myself a hot dog (there’s something about baseball and hotdogs, they just go together) and a Diet Coke.  So far, I didn’t think I was doing so bad.  Then I started to see people eating ice cream and pretzels and everything I couldn’t have.  Finally, about halfway thru the game, I went inside and got myself some deli meat to knaw on and I got another Diet Coke.  That was all I had, I had passed my test.  I got home and continued with my diet.  BRING ON MONDAY!

Monday:  My work day started a little earlier than normal for a Monday.  I had my first client at 9am.  I woke up at 7:30 and started to move around and I noticed my legs were doing much better.  Then I went to lift my right arm and “OWWWWWWW!!!!” came out of my mouth.  My right pec was KILLING ME!  Holy crap, seriously? 3 days later and decides to start throbbing???  The left is a little tender, but man, the right side is brutal!  And of course, this isn’t really an area you can try to work out the soreness without people looking at you with a “WHAT ON EARTH?” look on their face.  So I’m up moving a little earlier than normal, my pec hurts and all I want for breakfast is a tall glass of orange juice.  I’ve had orange juice every morning since I can remember.  It’s my security blanket, it’s a ritual.  But then I have that menu plan on my fridge staring back at me and NO ORANGE JUICE FOR BREAKFAST…  BUT ALL I WANTED WAS ORANGE JUICE!!! SERIOUSLY! I would have been happy with 8 stupid ounces!  I grabbed my cottage cheese out of the fridge and slammed the door.  I finished the rest of my breakfast and headed to work.  I got their early since my first client was a “newbie”.  I was very tired so I used my free time to write up a workout.  I guess I was so zoned out (probably due to lack of Vitamin C because I didn’t have ORANGE JUICE) that Pirtle tried to tell me something as he walked by and ended up making me jump out of my chair.  He sure got a laugh out of it; I hope it made his morning.  I know what would have made my morning… ORANGE JUICE…

I’m generally REALLY good about hiding my “dieting mood swings” from clients, except for the long time ones, and then I don’t hesitate to tell them I’m cranky.  They just laugh.  They generally get me to crack up sooner or later.  I had a break at 10am so I got in my cardio.  I could just feel my crankiness growing.  I kept thinking (I’m really starting to hate this machine… Man, it’s hot in here.  OWWW… Stupid pec… I bet I wouldn’t be cranky if I had orange juice this morning).  After 30 lonnnng minutes, I had my 11am snack (blackberries) then I trained Mr. Nelson.  I flat out told him I was cranky.  He laughed.  He finds my crankiness over a diet quite humorous.  Two clients later, my mood had mellowed and I headed home to have my smoothie (WHICH CONTAINS ORANGE JUICE). 

You would think after making the exact same smoothie everyday for months that I would have the ingredient sequence down.  I must have mentally been somewhere else because I ended up with a big mug of fruit and powder that would not blend.  I was thisclose to throwing the thing against the wall when I finally got out a knife and chiseled down the protein powder (it makes ya think if that stuff clumps up in your body like it does in a blender!).  Once it was blended it tasted fantastic.  I finished it, took a nap (because I could tell I needed it) and headed back to work.  Some would probably say that the nap is what put me in a much better mood that afternoon, but I think it was the orange juice.  It’s funny how it isn’t the fast food or junk food that you crave when you are restricted on what you eat, it’s the simple things.

Until tomorrow,
Kimberly, Emerge Fitness Staff

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